I literally feel like I am putting out spot fires everyday.

Not a second goes by that something doesn't need fixing/coaching/coaxing/caring for.

What is it in me that feels this need?

Is it good for me to allow myself to feel it?

Is giving 100% the same as doing my best, or is that something only mediocre people say to feel better?

Sometimes I don't even like praying. I have become so dependent on my own deeds that I believe prayer is a waste of time. If I am being honest, there hasn't been many prayers that I have seen work out the way I had asked for. Not that those prayers weren't taken care of but that I was looking for the wrong signs.

Is belief the opposite of want?